Who are you drowning with your sorry’s?
“I’m sorry.” “Sorry.” “So sorry.” Canadian’s are proud to be polite. It is one of the things that distinguishes us from other nations. Saying “I’m sorry” seems to be linked to politeness, although I’m not sure how that came to be.
When you stop and listen to the word… what does it mean? Sorry is a derivative of sorrow. When I say: “I’m sorry.” It means that somehow I am responsible for causing sorrow or I feel sorrow for something I did. That can translate into regret, shame, guilt and blame – weighty emotions.
People come to see me, professionally, to lighten their load. Some of the weight they carry can be emotional. One of the first things I notice about these folk is that they, perhaps as all good Canadians, say: “I’m sorry” – a lot.
The experiment? STOP saying “I’m sorry.” Be aware and own what you are doing. You may say: “I’m clumsy, awkward, I wasn’t paying attention.” You are simply human, after all.
When you do say: “I’m sorry”, choose your time – it should only be once or twice a year. Allow it to reflect your sorrow over something that is worthy of the depth of your sadness.
Sorrow and grief are human emotions. They are wonderful when felt at appropriate times. When overused or misused, there is no room for other emotions. It is a sorry state of affairs.
So I counsel my clients to go to a different destination. “Sorry” is “out of service”. They begin to embrace the breadth of their humanness and emotions. Which is empowering, lightens the load and brings true politeness and balance to life.
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